I have always loved October, it’s my magical month, my flawless month, it’s my month.
Ignoring the fact that I was born in October, and that makes it by default my favorite month, I try to look at it from different angles; October is the month where the trees turn into magnificent shades of brown, crunchy golden leaves scatter on the sides of streets, the sun is here but it’s not hot, the wind is also here but it’s not cold, October comes and brings the best of Autumn in it, and since weather does affect my mood, October’s weather is perfection in itself.
Also putting that aside, I have noticed that many happy events in my life happened in October, whether it was a coincidence, or my positive energy attracted happy events, or whatever it is the reason, all of this just supported my love for October.
Last October, was one of the best Octobers for me, it was different, it was unique, it was filled with life, I had this clear mind that I haven’t enjoyed since forever.
I started to think about people around me, about my family, my friends, even about strangers, I started to give each one of them part of my day time, whether by thinking or by actually doing things to them.
I started to think about my work more, my house, my room, and my closet, also giving those things some of my time, taking care of them as they won’t take care of themselves on their own.
I started to smile whatever my mood was, I started to ask people if they needed my help, whether I was friends of them or not, I started to greet people and actually wait for their answer.
I started to eat healthy, to eat only when I’m hungry, not when I am stressed or mad. I started to do the things that I love, not the only the things that I have to do.
I stopped imagining harm when there is none, I stopped listening to my ego, I stopped over analyzing and over thinking (well, not really stopped but minimized, we can’t totally stop it).
Yes, Last October was me living in Utopia, my own Utopia that I have created in my mind.
Only then, life started to give me back, it started to smile back at me, I swear to God, I did see it smile back to me, many critical decisions that I have been delaying suddenly seemed easy to me, things were clarified and I was able to take a decision and make a move, things were perfect at home, at work and on the personal level, it was just perfect, life was rewarding me in a way or another. Problems were magically solved and my life took the correct path that I was searching for during my whole life.
We are in March, and I’m telling you one thing, I’m lost again, chaos all around me and within me, many decisions are stuck in my head, my plans are delayed, things are scattered in my mind, here and there, leaving my life scattered as well. I started to have sleeping problems, waking up in the middle of the night, searching for answers in my head, or maybe searching for questions.I look back at October and remember how life was organized and perfect, I miss October.
However, there is this just this little thing about me; I’m a fighter, I wouldn’t want to wait for October to magically come and organize my life, I will make my own October, and I will make sure that my October lasts for the whole year. God be with me.